College: COLLEGE STUDENT LIGHT BULB JOKES
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> > COLLEGE STUDENT LIGHT BULB JOKES > > -------------------------------- > > > > How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Two--one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician. > > > > How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Eleven--one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the > > experience. > > > > How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > None--Hanover doesn't have electricity. > > > > How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the > > pressure. > > > > How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Only one, but he gets six credits for it. > > > > How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Seventy-six--one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the > > lightbulb's right not to change, and twenty-five to hold a > > counter-protest. > > > > How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > None--New Haven looks better in the dark. > > > > How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him. > > > > How many MIT students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Five--one to design a nuclear-powered bulb that never needs > > changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston > > using that nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to > > write the computer program that controls the wall switch. > > > > How many Vassar students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Eleven--One to screw it and ten to support its sexual > > orientation. > > > > How many Middlebury students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect > > J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion. > > > > How many Stanford students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > One, dude. > > > > How many Oberlin students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Three--One to change it and two to figure out how to get high > > off the old one. > > > > How many Georgetown students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Four--One to change it, one to call Congress about their > > progress, and two to throw the old bulb at American U. > > students. > > > > How many Duke students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the > > bulb out of the socket. > > > > How many Bates students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Only one, but he has to go to L.L. Bean to get the same one > > everyone else has. > > > > How many Williams students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing > > else to do. > > > > How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Two--One to change the bulb and one to say loudly how he did > > it as well as an Ivy League student. > > > > How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a > > lightbulb? > > Five--One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive > > dance about it. > > > > How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Eight--It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's > > just that they're all violently twitching from too much > > stress. > > > > How many Mount Holyoke students does it take to change a > > lightbulb? > > One--she calls a Smithie to do it. > > > > How many Smith students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > One--all you need is one hot woman and you'll never have a > > heterosexual lightbulb again. > > > > How many Boston University students does it take to change a > > lightbulb? > > Four--One to change the bulb and two to check his math > > homework. > > > > How many Amherst students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Thirteen--One to change the bulb and an a capella group to > > immortalize the event in song. > > > > How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Wesleyan's boycotting GE--you know, military-industrial > > complex and all that. > > > > How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a > > lightbulb? > > Two--One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if > > they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out. > > > > How many Bucknell students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > One--but he'll only change it if he can put in a white-light > > bulb. > > > > How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > Three--One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, > > one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it > > in. > > > > How many Bard students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > One--but she'll only do it if it's an alternative light bulb. > > > > How many Boston College students does it take to change a > > lightbulb? > > Seven--One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party > > because he didn't screw it in upside down this time. > > > > How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb? > > One--and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has > > platform Birkenstocks. > > |