True Stories: English Notices Around The World
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FUNNY ENGLISH NOTICES AROUND THE WORLD Here are some signs and notices discovered throughout the world. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. In an Acalpulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. In a Japenese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guest of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. Donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results. >From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. >From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootl= e him with vigor. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:=20 You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with chessy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking Here speeching American. |