Cultural: EVOLVING LAGUAGES
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European Directive 15643/97 Common European Language. The European Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the 'preferred language' for European Communications rather than German, which was the other option. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan for what will be known as 'EuroEnglish' (Abbreviated to Euro). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be replaced by "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one key less. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by the letter "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of "double" letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful and they should go. In the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing the leters "th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After the fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls of difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!! |