Holiday: SANTA QUITS
|
SANTA QUITS T'was the Night before Christmas Old Santa was pissed, He cussed out the elves, and threw down his list. "Miserable little brats, Ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind, To scrap the whole works. I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night, The elves want more money, And the reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought That things would get better, The IRS, They sent me a letter. They say I owe taxes, If that ain't damn funny... Who the hell ever Sent Santa any money? And the kids these days, They are all the pits. They want the impossible, Those mean little shits. I spent a whole year Making wagons and sleds with no request for them. They want computers and Robots, They think I am IBM. If you think that is bad, Picture this... Try holding those brats with their pants full of piss. They pull on my nose, They grab at my beard And if I don't smile, The parents think I'm weird. Flying through the air, Dodging the trees. Falling down chimneys, And skinning my knees. I quit this job, There's just no enjoyment I'm going to sit on my fat ass And collect unemployment. There is no Christmas this year Now you know the reason, I found me a blonde and heading south for the season |