True Stories: Test Answers
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These are actual test answers from various schools and they are funny but scary!! Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight SOCIOLOGY Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. BIOLOGY Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula? A :A small lie. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section." A: The cesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. ENGLISH Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. A :Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A :Benign is what you will be after you be eight. TECHNOLOGY Q :What is a turbine? A :Something an Arab wears on his head. |