Lawyers: Various Organizational Philosophies explained in terms of two

Various Organizational Philosophies ex

Lawyers: Various Organizational Philosophies explained in terms of two cows





Various Organizational Philosophies explained in terms of two cows


SOCIALISM You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.


FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them both and sells you the milk.


NAZISM You have two cows. The government takes them both and shoots you.


BUREAUCRACY You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours it down the drain.


CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.


LAWYERISM You see two cows and note that the milk from same has not been labelled ?Contains lactose.? You find 20 lactose-intolerant people, start a class action suit against the owner of the cows, the regional dairy cooperative, the distributor and the grocery store chain. You settle out of court for $1,000,000. Lactose intolerant milk drinkers get 10 cents each. You get $333,333. You act surprised when the owner goes berserk, shoots the cows and moves to Mexico. You feign astonishment when the dairy co-op goes out of business. Congress passes a law making your job easier the next time.