Top Signs: Webster's New Dictionary
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Webster's New Dictionary ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing. ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got. BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end. CANNIBAL - One who is apt to pass his best friend. CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself. CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good. CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold. COOKIE - A virgin doughnut. DANCE - A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen. DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer. DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket. DIARY - Book of revelations. DOCTOR - A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his face slapped. ENEMA - A goose with a gush. EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush. FATHER?S DAY - Nine months before labor day. GENTLEMAN - One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows. GIGOLO - The egg that laid the golden Goose. GLAMOUR GIRL - a much publicized young thing who is full of oomph, and frequently full of other things; one who doesn?t worry about the meat shortage. HORSE SHOW - A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses? asses showing their horses. HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed. KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night. HUNG CHOW - Chinese constipation. A KISS - Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise. MASTURBATION - A solo played on a private organ. METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a common ore. MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house. MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises. MOTHER?S DAY - Nine months after fathers day. MULE BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass. NUN - A woman who isn't never had none, don?t want none, and ain?t going to get none. NURSE - A pan handler. NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit. PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket. PIMP - A crack salesman; a nookie bookie. PREGNANCY - When a woman is all swelled up from her mate?s handiwork. RUMBA - An asset to music. SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods. SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don?t. SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak. SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil. STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies. TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals. TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap. TRIPLETS - Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun. VISE - Anything you enjoy that is bad for you. VIRGINITY - A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it?s gone forever. VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder. |